Sorry it has been so long. I really wanted and intended to write at least once a week but sometimes life happens.
my mom got disability thank god. I burned through FMLA time at work, but they want me there and don’t want to lose me, which is such a nice thing to hear. They are being so cool about everything.
My 26th birthday came on September 3rd. My mom got me a little mermaid cake like she has every year, even a little mermaid card that said “even at 26 you will always be my little mermaid”
she had a ring custom made for me, both of our birthstones, my name on my side and mom on the side with her birthstone. I never take it off hardly. I love it so incredibly much I cried.
I have some crazy stomach issues going on. I had h pylori bacteria they treated with four antibiotics, one which was completed ridiculous. It had a metal taste as a side effect and it made drinking water like eating aluminum foil while licking a 9 volt battery.
my mom has completed 7 rounds of FOLFOX. We have been non stop in and out of the hospital which has delayed rounds of chemo so they haven’t been able to get through a complete treatment cycle uniterrupted. Dehydration issues, partial blockages, you name it we have had it happen during treatment.
To the point where her oncologist has considered changing her chemo regimine from FOLFOX to FOLFIRI.
which was naturally concerning, but when we got there the PA we see in between seeing the oncologist, stated she called a surgeon just to see what they would say. I started to cry because this is what we have wanted. The liver mets are necrotic, dying, and we need to be able to get through treatment uninterrupted. So she explained the surgeon is fine resecting the main mass as long as there was a plan to treat the liver later.
we felt like this was a big win.
Once we got we got in to see the surgeon on Friday October 17th, 2014, he had her hope on the table to look at her stomach and she had asked if he was going to do anything with the liver. He had her hop down and he told us “I want to be clear, that this is not going to cure you. I don’t know if anyone has told you this, but most likely you will ultimately die from this Cancer”
holy shit was my blood boiling. He made it seem as if cancer was everywhere in her liver, and that we had no chance. My mom was crying her eyes out, I was crying. And he said “wow you guys are really close huh” and my said “yeah we have always been really close” and I added “she’s my best friend. We have only had each other growing up she was a single mom, it’s just us”
i could tell he felt bad.
After the appointment my mom wanted to go to breakfast we both cried the entire time. We decided to go home instead. We went home and I typed an email to the nurse. I wanted to make sure we hadn’t mis-understood anything. She agreed that it wasn’t his place to say anything like that he’s not really involved on the treatment plan and he’s just a general surgeon. That she would set an appointment to talk to the oncologist.
we know there is no guarantees. We aren’t in delusionville. But we want to fight we want aggressive curative intent treatment. I have consistently said the exact same thing, every appointment.
We then went to the casino, and we had some fun, and the nurse called me and I felt a lot better about things.
i hate this fucking disease so much.
so surgery to take out the main mass and reverse her illeostomy is on the 27th of October. She will be in the hospital for 4-6 days. I will be taking a leave of absence from work as well. Recovery should be 4-6 weeks.
so last night my moms sister came over and took her out so my fiancée and I went out for the first time in a very long time, probably since her diagnosis. We ate dinner, well I tried. And we decided on the movie “The Judge” Little did we know The Judge has advanced colon cancer 😕😑 and he dies in the movie.
‘y fiancée grabbed my hand when they said he had colon cancer and it was too late, and told me we should keave, but I stayed. It was really hard, very close to home. So I cried as well. Then the idiot came home and told my mom about it. Ugh men.
its like I can’t escape this fucking disease for one moment of any day at all!!!!
I’m hoping for some reassurance from the oncologist. We shall see.